


I Burn For You.

by RonWeasleyAKALittleLionMan



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 05:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4776182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonWeasleyAKALittleLionMan/pseuds/RonWeasleyAKALittleLionMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't know how it started, but he sure as hell wishes he could stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Burn For You.

**Stark.**

Arrogance personified. 

Billionaire.

Playboy.

Bully.

 

It was a nice little box, Steve mused regretfully, until Tony smashed it into pieces and then with arms wide open and a challenging stare silently screamed _Look at **me.**_

 

**Tony.**

Strong-willed.

Generous.

Loved.

Friend.

 

He hates it, not Tony, but the power Tony has over him. He hates how Tony makes him feel. Don't get him wrong. Tony's great, wonderful, brilliant, and very very warm, but he's also just a little... impossible.

The man is like chaos personified.

He barges into Steve's life.

_No else does that. Everyone else leaves him alone, lets him adjust at his own pace. Then, fast-paced and futuristic Tony Stark does that one thing no else cares enough to try. Tony doesn't let Steve slow his world down, just sighs dramatically, and pulls him forward into the 21st century._

H̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶a̶p̶p̶o̶i̶n̶t̶ed,̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶n̶n̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶b̶e̶w̶i̶l̶d̶e̶r̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶d̶r̶o̶p̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶M̶s̶.̶ ̶P̶o̶t̶t̶s̶ ̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶i̶l̶l̶i̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶e̶,̶ s̶a̶s̶s̶y̶,̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶r̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶,̶ h̶e̶ ̶c̶r̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶l̶.̶

Tony surveys the empty apartment that's devoid of life and gets all kinds of snarky.

_No else does that. They handle him carefully. They don't snark at him or joke around with him like the Howling Commandos. They all look at the costume instead of the man underneath. Tony Stark treats him like a man, instead of a legend and Steve is desperate, almost hungering for that sort of connection._

T̶h̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶a̶w̶a̶y̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶o̶u̶p̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶Tony m̶e̶n̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶M̶s̶.̶ ̶P̶o̶t̶t̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶c̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶w̶i̶c̶e̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶r̶d̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶r̶k̶,̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶t̶h̶e̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶t̶h̶e̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶t̶h̶e̶.̶

Tony kidnaps Steve.

_He ignores Steve's protests, Steve's excuses, and Steve's careful attempts to slow down. Tony's good at that, reading what people want, not what they say. He doesn't let Steve adjust, bulldozes his way into Steve's life, and makes Steve a friend rather a stranger._

T̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶r̶o̶d̶u̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶u̶p̶p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶w̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶M̶s̶.̶ ̶P̶o̶t̶t̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶,̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶Tony ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶r̶k̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶f̶u̶l̶l̶y̶,̶ ̶p̶u̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶k̶i̶s̶s̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶k̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶v̶e̶.̶ ̶N̶o̶,̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶the g̶e̶s̶t̶u̶r̶e̶.̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶f̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶g̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶p̶l̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶T̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶T̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶

And Tony takes Steve home.

_Tony's always there, always around. He speaks fast-paced, but then there are moments where he slows down. Steve sketches the way his hands work as he builds new tech, the shining light in his eyes when her gets a new idea, and the way that when they're up late at night, neither able to sleep, Steve makes him a plate of cookies and Tony just takes them, eyes relieved that someone was there, that Steve was there, and his whole body just relaxes._

 T̶h̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶v̶i̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶i̶n̶e̶.̶ ̶B̶u̶t̶,̶ ̶M̶s̶.̶ ̶P̶o̶t̶t̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶v̶e̶r̶s̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶,̶ ̶T̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶o̶c̶k̶e̶t̶,̶ ̶p̶u̶l̶l̶s̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶r̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶k̶n̶e̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶b̶l̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶n̶.̶ ̶I̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶s̶.̶ ̶

Steve knows he doesn't deserve Tony, knows that what he feels about the man is all kinds of sick and wrong. Steve used to think that if he took the serum, that maybe he'd be cured of this... disease, but there are days when everything Steve feels is heightened. It feels like he's drowning in his perverse lust for another man and a dark part of him doesn't even regret it.

 _God, help me,_ Steve prayed, saddling on his bike. Steve drives away because he needs to fix himself before he can be around the team that trusts him as a man, before he can even look at Tony again. He continued to pray to himself, trying to let the words wash over him, to let them really sink in.

 _Saint Michael the Archangel,_  
_defend us in battle._  
_Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil._  
_May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;_  
_and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,_  
_by the Divine Power of God,_  
_cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits_  
_who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls._

_Amen._


End file.
